MAS

I have to say this..

• Why the fark has to ask for RM2 billion (yet another 2 billion) from the government to make sure their turnover plan is a successful one......of course lar...give you 2 billion to prevent a 1.7 billion losses..simple maths.

• The 2 billion can be subsized into the recent oil price hike man...more citizens are going to benefit from this...

• Why can't you ask for a cheaper fuel from Petronas...o..i know...they can't because they have to sponsor BMW team....well, there goes the citizens hard earned money Petronas is directly under PM, no need to report to Cabinet for your information..

• Why can't you fire some idiots pilots, stewardess, and other officers who are not productive...Not only them are suffering from the bad economy, obviously they have got to perform or pack the bag...MAS is not Charity okay....

• Fark..i heard this from my lecturer, his friend boarded a 747 from KL-Penang which was supposed to be a 737. Obviously, some bad planning has caused this and I believe those guys sitting in the planner's position should have been taught well to come up with a better plan. O what, they got the government scholarship to get a MBA from overseas ler...good investment ho...

4D First Prize

One day, my friend planned to buy a new computer..yeah..a whole new set of computer..So, he went to this shop, Cytech. He had his mind set on the specs that he wanted..and hooray..let's go..jio his roomie along (who is the regular customer of the shop).

Friend: Hey, Tauke, you got 21" LCD monitor ah?

Tauke : (Eyes wide open suddenly) O...got, but have to
book, will arrive in few days time lor, because
not many people want such good monitor.

Friend: Ok lor, (continue to grumble about his dream
specs for his computer)

Later, while my friend was staring somewhere else...

Roomie: (Smile to the tauke)..hehe

Tauke : Ei, Lu Peng Yu Tio Tao Pio ah
(Your friend won 4D first prize)

Roomie: (Speechless)...bo lar...he is rich mar...
beh sai ah...

Tauke : O...I thought he was so lucky...spend
his prize money on LCD monitor..

Oil Price Hike

Yesterday 11pm my housemate told me Oil Price Rose for 40 cents (actually is 30 cents), so we mah kiasu and go lor...Fine..I went to Petronas, which was my turn quite soon. My other housemate went Projet, which was smooth also..Here comes the story..for the one who went Shell.

A: Hey, Shell so many people, go Projet lar..

B: Dun want lar, wait a while only mar..

A: Waste fuel ler letting engine run like that..

B: Aiya...tell you the truth, I want to collect BonusLink point lar.

A: Walan eh...collect points at this super peak hour. (Speechless)

Singaporean's trip to KL

I went through this post about how a Singapore Girl visit to KL was like. Some Malaysia Boleh act was mentioned in it. Read it out..

I summarised a few points here:

• Dishonest KL Taxi Drivers (most of them)

• Old School MRT card (outdated ticketing system which was used in Singapore years ago, OK>>we have our TouchNGo also though not as conveniently available as in Singapore)

• She was molested in Petaling Street...sigh..

• Expensive B-Grade Imitation Goods in Petaling Street

• Cheating Malaysia Mega Sales (a mere 10%)while even people Watson's is giving islandwide 20% discount

• Dirty Toilets...i wonder why Malaysian are so misbehaved..i mean most of them...

sssssSo, What do you think? I have to admit that these are the weaknesses that are eating into Malaysian Tourism Business (I mean KL)

Who the heck will ever return after such a disgusting journey. At least, clean the toilets more often lar...and don't charge farking 30 cents for the service...

Anyway, most of the Malaysian are very friendly, honest and nice people...let's eradicate the Rotten Apples...

Malaysian food is nice and cheap too..btw..

Camel story

Do you believe this??

One fine day, my friend was sitting in a lecture hall listening tentatively to economics theories. His handphone rang, and an unfamiliar number appeared. As he is an obedient student, he did not answer the phone. His mate reminded him that it might be some important calls from recruiter. So he decided to call back after the lecture. Here is how the conversation goes...

Friend : Hello..sorry to disturb you..i received your call just now..may i know who are you and why are you calling me for? blah.blah.blah..
Gal : (because line was not clear), hah ..hah....
Friend : Repeat the whole thing again...
Gal : (this time was clear), tak tahu dia cakap apa ni!
Friend : (Hung up the phone)

My friend then told his mate that the gal spoke Malay..so ....he decided to call back again...(the unbelievable comes) and decided this time switched to speak Malay.

Friend : Hello...maaf kerana menganggu..saya terima panggilan anda tadi..boleh saya tahu siapa panggil nombor ini? blah blah blah..
Gal B : (Another gal answered the phone this time)...Salah Nombor lah Dik!
Friend : (Bo bien...hung up the phone)

You guess what is his mate doing on the floor.....actually he laughed until could not straighten himself up...

FBI recruitment

美國FBI招工題目 (答對3題的人不超過4個)

1）企鵝肉
問：一個女孩有一天給一個男孩做了一道菜。男孩吃完了，但是覺得味道怪怪的，於是他問那女孩：這是什麼肉啊？ 女孩說：這是企鵝肉。男孩沉思了一會兒......痛哭了起來，自殺了。為什麼？

2）跳火車
問：一個人坐火車去鄰鎮看病，看完之後病全好了。回來的路上火車經過一個隧道，這個人就跳車自殺了。為什麼？

3）水草
問：有個男孩跟他女友去河邊散步。突然他的女友掉進河裏了，那個男孩就急忙跳到水裏去找，可沒找到他的女友，他傷心的離開了這裏。過了幾年後，他故地重 遊，這時看到有個老人在釣魚，可那老人釣上來的魚身上沒有水草，他就問那老人為什麼魚身上沒有沾到一點水草，那老人說：這河從沒有長過水草。說到這時，那 男孩突然跳到水裏自殺了。為什麼？

4）葬禮的故事
問：有母女三人，母親死了，姐妹倆去參加葬禮。妹妹在葬禮上遇見了一個很型的男子，並對他一見傾心。但是葬禮後那個男子就不見了，妹妹怎麼找也找不到他。後來過了一個月，妹妹把姐姐殺了。為什麼？

5）半根火柴
問：有一個人在沙漠中，頭朝下死了，身邊散落著幾個行李箱子，而這個人手裏緊抓著半個火柴。推理這個人是怎麼死的？

6）滿地木屑
問：馬戲團裏有兩個侏儒，瞎子侏儒比另一個侏儒矮。馬戲團只需要一個侏儒，馬戲團的侏儒當然是越矮越好了。兩個侏儒決定比誰的個子矮，個子高的就去自殺。 可是，在約定比個子的前一天，瞎子侏儒，也就是那個矮的侏儒已經在家裡自殺死了。在他的家裡只發現木頭做的家具和滿地的木屑。他為什麼自殺？

7）夜半敲門
問：一個人住在山頂的小屋裏，半夜听見有敲門的，他打開門卻沒有人，於是去睡了。等了一會又有敲門聲，去開門，還是沒人，如是者幾次。第二天，有人在
山腳下發現死屍一具，警察來把山頂的那人帶走了。為什麼？



以下是答案~你猜對了多少題呢^^?

1）企鵝肉
答：男孩以前曾和女友一起去北極考察，因為沒東西吃，女孩把自己的肉一片片割給男孩吃，騙他說是企鵝肉，結果男孩活下來了，女孩就餓死了。多年後男孩吃到了真正的企鵝肉，終於明白當時女孩的苦心，傷心之下，自殺殉情。

2）跳火車
答：此人原是瞎子，醫好後終於得見光明，經過隧道時一片黑暗，他以為自己又瞎了，絕望之下，自殺而亡。

3）水草
答：男孩曾抓著女孩的頭髮，以為是水草，錯失了救女孩的機會，後悔莫及。

4）葬禮的故事
答：妹妹一直找不到那個型男子，想了很久，猜想或許只有在葬禮上才能看見他，於是殺死自己的姐姐，以期在姐姐的葬禮上能重遇該男子。

5）半根火柴
答：他和伙伴一起乘熱氣球，途中出了故障，必須減輕份量，於是大家抽簽決定由誰做出犧牲，跳下熱氣球。此人不幸抽中不祥的半根火柴，連同行李一起被人扔下熱氣球。

6）滿地木屑
答：另一個侏儒半夜溜到矮侏儒家，把所有家具的腳都削短了，瞎子矮侏儒早上起床，摸到所有的東西都變矮了，以為是自己長高了，絕望之下自殺身亡。

7）夜半敲門
答：有人身負重傷，好不容易爬到小屋門口，主人開門，又把他撞下去了，再爬，再開，又被撞下，如此反復，終於氣絕身亡。

Learning Hokkien is easy

Learning Hokkien is easy...
Children is gina kia
Bird is jiao kia
Give birth is seh kia
Police is mata kia
Small house is chu kia
I am hokkien kia
Malay is huan kia
Hindu is kit leng kia
Malaysian is jiu hu kia
JApanese is jit pun kia
Bad guy is pai kia
Good guy is ho kia
Small Pig is te kia(aina)
Small Frog is kopo kia(nanda)
Korean car is Kia
Furniture is Ikea
Handphone is Nokia
Person who read tis is
Gong kia..
if u laugh now. u are SIAW KIA..kekekeke
SEE LEARNING IS EASY!!!